Sticks & stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me. Hmmmmm – really? Whoever penned that phrase may have been delusional. Maybe it was their attempt to have people look at a person’s actions while disregarding some of their words? While that may hold firm on occasion, many times it doesn’t. Bones heal my friends, but sometimes words, especially how delivered, linger. I wonder, when someone professes their love & devotion to someone, how in the heat of a discussion, disagreement or argument, they would reach into that person’s soul & insult them in ways they wouldn’t do to anyone else. Say things they know will deeply affect their mate; things that can completely change things in a fateful instant. Are the things they spew what they really feel about that person deep inside? Are they intent on causing this person hurt to placate their need to remedy whatever wrong they feel they were subjected too? Discussions, disagreements or arguments, by nature usually imply a difference of opinions, some stronger than most. But why must it get to a point where the words become daggers & the vibe becomes tenuous? People may think the words used are just that “words”, but fail to realize the power these “words” can yield. How much hurt, resentment & eventual damage they can cause. It can cast doubt over all the positive words & actions they may have done in the past. We have all been guilty of saying things we have regretted, but we must learn from these instances if we want to make any relationship we choose to be in work. It’s hard for people to rip into someone for slights or perceived infractions they themselves do all the time. Blankety stating, “this is how I am”, doesn’t cut it if you want to be in a serious relationship with someone who has expressed some concern over certain reactions, especially if it causes the other person angst. Being in a relationship sometimes means doing & listening to things that one may not care to do at a particular time, but you do anyway because the person you profess to care for needs it. Folks, relationships are hard work, but should be the most rewarding interactions we have. Try to understand the lasting impression some words can have on someone. Is it a pride thing that causes you to lash out with such harsh, insulting words or phrases? Is it pride that causes you to pile on the insults once you see how those words were received instead of apologizing or trying to make right? Is it really worth ruining a wonderful thing over it? Or is it how you really feel & you just want to make sure the intended party knows it? If this is it, is there a better way? Now I understand how certain words can carry more weight with different people or different cultures, but if you are in a relationship and truly love your mate, don’t you owe it to them to understand better the impact your words may have? Think about these things the next time a discussion, disagreement or argument breaks out, it may help keep a good thing going.
Cursing the darkness only delays the dawn.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson