straight from the heart

Archive for June, 2012|Monthly archive page

Definitions, Emotions & True Love

In Relationships, Spirituality on June 23, 2012 at 2:01 am

I read an article recently about what love is, which got me thinking. The dictionary defines Love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I find this to be a rather simplistic description of what is probably one of the most complex of emotions. There are different shades of love, love of your children, parents or siblings. But here I speak of a romantic love, which is deep, intense & committed. People who are strongly commited to one another will always have each others back, won’t allow negative talk about them & are compelled to let the world know. When you love someone, deeply love someone, it gives you an uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability, a sense of joy & a sense of fear all in one. Vulnerable because you feel completely exposed. You open your heart & soul to someone completely; you give them pieces of you never given before; you share your innermost thoughts, dreams, fears & aspirations. Joy because you feel full, complete and warm; a silly joy every time you are near them; a joy everytime you see or even talk to them. Fear because you hope the person reciprocates, appreciates and honors your love. You pray you are never taken advantage of or for granted. If lucky, the person loves you back with the same fervor. When in love, it teaches you patience, acceptance & better communication skills. But love also hurts; words sting a lil’ more; actions you normally pay no mind to have greater affect. You find yourself doing things or accepting things you may not have done before. That’s deep love. You learn what the person likes or needs and you instinctively try to fulfill it; it can be something simple like flowers or making their favorite meal to trying to do things not normally done because they enjoy it. I am sure a lot of people love, but I wonder how many love deeply? When you see or hear the person, does your heart smile? Are you willing to do almost anything for that person? Make sacrifices? Are they beautiful on their worse days? When you touch does your temperature rise? Do you just reach out in any way at anytime just because? Do you always have time for them? Do you still love the things that first caught your attention about them? Do you respect how they feel about certain things even though you may not agree or completely understand? You see when you love, really love, it’s no longer just about you & yours. It becomes us. It becomes a deep union of understanding, compromise, passion and sharing. You don’t think or want anyone else, just the person before you. You applaud & console; defend & protect. Money is not an issue between you. You wonder if your patrner would like this or that & then you just get it for them, for no reason but to see them smile. You plan with them in mind; their familes become yours, for better or worse. When you love someone, everything reminds you of them. You give of yourself freely & you both become one. If you are ever lucky enough to experience true love consider yourself truly blessed.

There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Thanks, Thoughts & A Son’s Ode To His Dad

In Parenting, Relationships on June 15, 2012 at 7:23 pm

June 11, 2012, would have been my dad’s 82nd birthday. I awoke that day, as I do every 11th of June in a somber mood. I laid in bed, looked to the sky & whispered I Love You Dad. My Dad died 20 years ago, in 1992. It was an unexpected death as I remember getting the call from my younger brother, who was still living at home, advising me our Dad had collapsed & was being rushed to the hospital. My heart stopped as I innately knew the outcome would not be good. I jumped in my car & drove the hour into NYC, in a downpour, praying, crying to God to please allow me to speak to my Dad before he goes. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the hospital, my Dad had already passed. I was the first & only person they allowed to see him. There he was, lying alone on a gurney in a supply closet. A piece of me died that moment too. You see my Dad & I had a special relationship. I was his first born son & I adored him like no other. I remember once when I was a little boy, I saw my mom cleaning out his closet. I thought my Dad was leaving so I went nuts, crying, kickin’ & screaming, until they brought me to him, where he waylaid my fears. I remember looking into his eyes that day; he had a sort of twinkle in it – I guess a look a father gets when he realizes how much his son loves him. My Dad was a humble, hard working man. He went to work everyday, never missing a day, no matter how he felt or what the weather was like. Sometimes, when off from school, he would take me to work with him. I remember being so proud of going to work with my Dad. He was a maintenance man at a building complex in Queens, NY, where he would take two trains early every morning & walk a quarter mile to get to. I remember how I would smile as all the tenants seemed to love my Dad, always telling me what a nice man he was. I can honestly say I have never heard anyone have a cross word to say about him. At his viewing, it was a standing room only crowd. The place was packed with well wishers & people whose life my Dad touched in some way or other. Some would say I was a headstrong kid, but I could always count on my Dad understanding me, defending me & believing in me. When my siblings would complain or make an off-handed comment, he was quick to tell them to listen to what I had to say; smart man my Dad! He taught me many things about being a respectful, loving family man. He introduced me to my beloved NY Mets; we would sit together & watch them on most nights, cheering them on. It saddens me we never had the chance to see a live game together as adults. One of my biggest regrets is that I never really did have a chance to tell my Dad how much he meant to me, how much I cared for him, how much I appreciated all he did before he passed that fateful night. If I could give a year of my life to my Dad, I would folks, so I can tell him all the things I should have when he was here. So I could take him out, watch a few games with him, let him know he was revered. Although I believe he has truly watched over me all these years, it would be great to give him a hug & for him to see his boy turned out fine, a man – just like he was. Happy Birthday & Father’s Day Dad…I Love You.

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.

– Lionel Hampton